Ducks

Ducks love snow and winter. The only part of winter they hate is when their water freezes, and they can only get on the water, not in. As soon as we break the ice, they are playing Titanic with the ice chunks in the pool.

Goofballs. That is all you need to know about ducks.

Ducks are down to party 24/7.

Their main loves in life are the following, in order:

Water
Mud (and muddy water)
Peas...in water

Ducks are LOUD, and messy, and are in a row more often than you'd think, which makes me feel very accomplished. This is because they share one brain cell.

Ducks are really strong herd animals. They SCREAM when separated and are always together.

Ducks bob their heads and wag their tails when happy, which is most of the time.

Ducks can see in the dark. They also can sleep with one-half of their brain at a time while the other remains alert, a handy trick to keep safe from predators.

Chickens cannot see in the dark. The chickens, who want to always be neat, clean, and dry, and go to bed on time, are perpetually exasperated by the ducks. The ducks do not care.

Domestic duck breeds cannot fly. However, they firmly believe, down to the depths of their souls, that if they push off just a little harder, and flap just a little faster, that THIS TIME will be the time they soar majestically into the sky. They go airborne about 3' high for roughly 30 seconds until they are back on the ground. They abide.

While chickens roost on bars, ducks sleep on the ground. They enjoy burrowing and are constantly climbing under the nesting boxes and knocking them all out.

How many full-grown ducks are too many for the kiddie pool? Apparently the limit does not exist. It's at least greater than six.

Pekins

We have 5 pekins - Donald, Chloe, Skunk, Minnie, and Bosom. Bosom is by far the most famous. He has genetic wry tail (basically he was born with his butt on sideways) and has a turned-in foot. Much work went into getting him to be able to walk as a duckling. He has experienced several consequences to this.

He is the easiest to catch, and has given up - now when he is chased, he just stops and sighs loudly as he is captured. Because of all the forced love, he is the friendliest duck you'll ever meet.
He has had to have his penis amputated twice due to his cloaca having the form of a misshapen balloon neck and being prone to prolapse.

Minnie is also differently abled, due to our other drake, Donald, being far too horny and overmating her. Minnie has always been hot and spicy and is alive and walking out of sheer spite. She yells at me about everything, especially when I try to take care of her.

Runners

Our black runners, the Quackson 5 (although we are down to four, RIP Randie), look like penguins and it's hysterical to watch them flap around. The hens, Tita, Jemma, and Jackie, love Bosom. Our drake Michael had to be nursed back to health after a vitamin deficiency last year and as a result is also friendlier than the rest, if you can catch him - he has made a full recovery and lives for the zoom. When the sun hits them right, their wings will shine emerald, amethyst, or sapphire.

Welsh Harlequins

These ladies were bought off Facebook with the appleyards, and they are all named after Old Gods of Appalachia characters. Junie goes VERY broody in summer but is a horrible mother and can't hatch anything. SaraBelle is extremely soft; she may be our softest (and ducks are very soft. However soft you think ducks are, you're wrong. They're softer). They are really only discernable from the appleyards by their black bills and feet, and smaller band of color on their wings.

Silver Appleyards

Vera, Delia, and Nina have gorgeous sapphire striping on their wings. They are very loud and chatty, the most talkative of all of them, and don't care how you feel about it.

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